Parenting Blogger: I'll make you think!

HAVE I NOT TAUGHT YOU ANYTHING?

There are some days when I think to myself ‘has nothing I’ve said to my kids sunk in? Have I not taught them anything?’

That was me yesterday. My eldest boy had been accused on ‘inappropriate behaviour’; and when we got to the bottom of what happened all I could say “really? You thought that was okay?”

“No”, my boy says sheepishly.

He had trouble telling me what happened because obviously his brain finally kicked into gear and he realized that what he did was in fact not okay.

Required talks were had and punishments handed out. Luckily he did not complain and accepted the terms graciously. Otherwise I really would have lost my mind.

As a parent it’s quite confronting because you want to believe you do good work; it makes me feel bad if one of my kids act out. Embarrassed, hurt and disappointed. At times just down right frustrated.

Then my second boyo does something that just blows my mind; in a good way. He writes me a card saying  “I’m sorry that you feel bad but it’s okay and don’t be sad because I love you.”

My second boy shows more empathy than most adults I know. In fact, I’ll admit that he puts me to shame sometimes.

How can I have to very different boys? How much influence am I really having on either of them?

Michael Grose wrote in “First Borns Want to Rule The World and Last Borns Want to Change It” that one of the greatest influences is the next oldest sibling.

So perhaps my second boy look at his older brother and decides that he wants none of that. I don’t know.

A few weeks ago my eldest boy got an average mark in a take home science assignment.  I explained to him that if he wants extra marks then he needs to go above and beyond of the minimum requirement; that’s what the kids who got high marks did.

Second boy pipes in with “I still think it’s amazing because I’ve never seen anything like this before”.

See; always thinking of others.

I wish I could take credit but I don’t know. I think that’s just how he is.

A friend once quipped, “isn’t it funny if our kids do well we say they did it all by themselves but if they misbehave we take that on board as our own failing”.

Interesting.

0 Comments

TODAY ALL I HAVE ARE QUESTIONS

Did Tony Abbott actually ever clarify what he meant by ‘calibre’ of women?

Was it a value judgement?

Does he want more women to try and further their careers into senior executive roles without sacrificing income?

Is he worried that women who do make it into senior executive roles are giving up having a family?

Will the Coalition encourage father’s to take the same amount of leave?

What about those women who do not seek to climb the corporate ladder?

Is there another measurement of progress other than how many women make it into the upper echelons of the corporate world?

Does the Coalition want to take Paid Parental Leave out of the realm of ‘welfare payment’ and into ‘workplace entitlement’?

Is the Coalition truly trying to change cultural perceptions when it comes to family issues in the workplace?

Was not initially granting Labor MP Michelle Rowland a pair a brain fart on behalf of Chief Whip Warren Entsch or some entrenched ‘political screw you over one-up manship’ tactic?

Has the debate of family issues, workplace arrangements and entitlements changed in the last decade? Or are we still having the same ‘you want them, you pay for them’ and ‘my kids will one day be paying your pension’ arguments that were first had when the baby bonus was introduced?

2 Comments

SYDNEY AQUARIUM: SEA HORSE EXHIBITION

About a hundred years ago (pre kids) I completed a diving course to become a qualified open water diver. Now the first thing my diving instructor said to the class was “this isn’t your world, you are just visiting so you need to play nice”.

Sage advice.

So ever since then I’ve looked at the ocean and marine life in a whole different way.

When Sydney Aquarium invited me and my family to view their Seahorse exhibit I jumped at the chance.

Did you know that seahorse often make their home on the nets that are erected at some of Sydney’s beaches? Kinda cool that all you need is a snorkel and mask and you can discover some seahorses right in Sydney Harbour.

My kids have visited the aquarium before but they never grow tired of it. So I asked my eldest to write the rest of this post for me.

At the aquarium I learnt that seahorses live in sea grass and on beach nets along the algae. Also that the dad is the one who gives birth to the children not the mum. The male seahorse sneezes the babies out of his belly and gives birth to about 1800 babies at once because they are really small and not many of them survive.

One species of seahorse is about the size of half an adult’s pinkie fingernail. Seahorse’s eyes move independently to each other. Sea horses scientific name is hippocampus, which means sea monster as it was thought they were the babies of a scary beast that pulled the god of the sea, Poseidon’s chariot across the ocean.

Seahorses have the ability to change colour to blend in with their environment. There are over 200 species of seahorse and more than likely, more to be discovered. Seahorse habitats are being lost by pollution, cleaning of beach nets etc. Councils now have a more sufficient way of cleaning and getting rid of algae to protect the seahorses and their habitat.

By Jordan Tedeschi Age 12

 

For more information on Sydney Aquarium and please visit the website. As well as the seahorse exhibition, I thoroughly recommend you check out the dugongs. If I could roll around and hug them I would.

As I mentioned above my family and I were invited to the exhibition but I was not paid for this post and all views are my own and my daughter’s.

0 Comments

REPEAT AFTER ME: ASYLUM SEEKERS ARE NOT ILLEGALS

Earlier this week Tony Abbott unveiled a billboard in Perth, Western Australia stating how many illegal boats had arrived in Australia since Labor took office.

Social media, rightly so, lost its mind.  Because as so many have pointed out, these boats are not illegal. Tony Abbott is willfully lying to the Australian public, or he is just plain ignorant on legality of asylum seekers. Either way, not a good look for someone who wants to be a leader of a first world nation.

So I thought I’d do some light reading. Below are quotes from the official Parliament of Australia website.

Asylum seekers irrespective of their mode of arrival, like others that arrive in Australia without a valid visa, are classified by Australian law to be ‘unlawful non-citizens’. However, the term ‘unlawful’ does not mean that asylum seekers have committed a criminal offence. There is no offence under Australian law that criminalises the act of arriving in Australia or the seeking of asylum without a valid visa.

Asylum seekers do not break any Australian laws simply by arriving on boats or without authorisation. Australian and international law make these allowances because it is not always safe or practicable for asylum seekers to obtain travel documents or travel through authorised channels. Refugees are, by definition, persons fleeing persecution and in most cases are being persecuted by their own government. It is often too dangerous for refugees to apply for a passport or exit visa or approach an Australian Embassy for a visa, as such actions could put their lives, and the lives of their families, at risk. Refugees may also be forced to flee with little notice due to rapidly deteriorating situations and do not have time to apply for travel documents or arrange travel through authorised channels. Permitting asylum seekers to entry a country without travel documents is similar to allowing ambulance drivers to exceed the speed limit in an emergency – the action would be ordinarily be considered illegal, but the circumstances warrant an exception

Past figures show that between 70 and 97 per cent of asylum seekers arriving by boat at different times have been found to be refugees and granted protection either in Australia or in another country.

In contrast, asylum claims from people who enter Australia by air on a valid visa and subsequently apply for asylum have not had such high success rates historically and the majority have not been found to be refugees.

In other words, past figures show that more asylum seekers who arrived by boat have been recognised as refugees than those who entered Australia by air.

Although the proportion of asylum seekers arriving by boat has increased significantly in the last few years, and boat arrivals continue to be the focus of much public and political attention, they are in fact more likely to be recognised as refugees than those who have arrived by air.

There is no orderly queue for asylum seekers to join. Only a very small proportion of asylum seekers are registered with the UNHCR and only one per cent of those recognised by the UNHCR as refugees who meet the resettlement criteria are subsequently resettled to another country. As the overall number of asylum applications has continued to rise, states are increasingly taking responsibility for refugee status determination.

Australia has a long history of accepting refugees for resettlement and over 750 000 refugees and displaced persons have settled in Australia since 1945.

Australia’s Migration has two components:

• The Migration component consists of Skilled Stream migrants, Family Stream migrants and migrants with a Special Eligibility class visa.
• The Humanitarian component is for refugees and others in humanitarian need.
The planning level for the 2012–13 Migration Program is set at 190 000 places. The Humanitarian Program is set at 13 750 places.

Overall the Humanitarian program is 7% of all migrants.

Boat arrivals still only comprise 50% of the Humanitarian intake. Making it 3 % in any given year.

7000 arrivals by boat. What’s 7000? Most would say it’s a poor showing to a sporting event. A modest number of people to a live show. 85000 people participate in the City to Surf.

It would take roughly 14 years for boat arrivals at current levels to fill the MCG. About 12 years to fill ANZ Stadium.

But in the hands of politicians like Tony Abbott, 7000 is like this evil ridiculously monstrous overwhelming number.

And quotes like this from an ABC interview in November 2012 make my blood boil. Obviously the man hasn’t read official documentation. Or if he has then it just makes him unfeeling.

“we will always be a generous and a welcoming country provided you play by our rules, you don’t try to break the rules, provided you come in the front door, you don’t try to walk in the back door.”

Like the White Australia Policy?

Compared to the rest of the world, we take a miniscule number of asylum seekers and refugees.

Our fine nation just clocked over 23 million people.

Our population grows by 1048 people per day. 7000 asylum seekers per year arriving by boat is nothing to get worried about.

But who are the actual illegals here in Australia? Well that would be the overstayers.

The Daily Telegraph reported in June 2012

The number of visa overstayers – who entered the country legally and then failed to leave – has jumped by 3530 in just one year, data reveals.

Over the past five years, a breakdown of the numbers by country reveals authorities are seeking 7930 Chinese, 5090 Americans, 4640 Malaysians and 3650 British. Thousands of others including 3500 Indians, 2760 Koreans, 2620 Indonesians, 2410 Filipinos, 1860 Thais, 1690 Vietnamese, 1460 Germans, 1280 Japanese, 1260 French, 1240 Irish and 1090 Fijians are also at large.

That’s 39,860.

Why don’t we lose our minds about that?

Chris Berg wrote an article for The Drum in September 2012 and he sums it up brilliantly.

Immigration politics is not about quantity but visibility.

By definition, asylum seekers want authorities to find them. Illegal workers do not. They are people who are working in breach of their visa conditions. They may have overstayed their temporary visas, they may be here on tourist visas, or they might be working more hours than their student visas permit.

It’s hard to measure, but we know there are at least 50,000 illegal workers in Australia. A Government report (PDF) in 2010 suggested it could be as many as 100,000.
That figure is a lot more than the few thousand who have sought asylum in Australia by boat.

Those dinky boats may seem like a threat to our “sovereignty”, but they are actually a demonstration of it. Our high-tech Navy picks them up, and our bureaucrats ploddingly process each one in turn. Every migrant interacts with the system at some point. There are no exceptions.

In almost every other country, borders are far too porous to imagine a government could be this diligent.

So stop freaking out Australia. We do have it good.

Finally, I am most annoyed at Tony Abbott because as a leader he can set the tone of the country for now and for years to come. But he is deliberately being inflammatory and misleading. And why? Because fear ensures votes? He’s just representing the constituents? Maybe the constituents need to be told that their fears are unfounded. That’s what a true leader would do.

Remember, Mr Abbott, the children are listening. It’s a hell of a responsibility when you are moulding young minds.

Related posts

Dumb, Drunk and Racist Ep 2 – Australian Protectionist Party

Take A Souvlaki and Baste it in Vegemite

4 Comments

PERSONAL PLANNERS – REVIEW AND GIVEAWAY

So if you read my recent post you’d know that for the last 6 months I had been working with Brenda Gaddi on putting together the Digital Parents Conference 2013.

Now you can’t pull something like that without some organizational skills but something did get lost along the way; my family organization.

I don’t know if you’re like me but I’ve got a pretty good memory. And even though I had checks and balances for my work, my checks and balances for my family (read: memory) were starting to fail.

The pile of school notes on my desk was rising daily; and getting ignored.

It was almost serendipitous that I received an email from the fine people at Personal Planner asking me if I was interested in trying out one of planners. HELL YES!

You see, I’ve got 4 kids and a husband to keep track of and whilst Mr M and I are quite good at using Outlook for our diaries and notifying each other of our appointments, our children do not have the luxury of personal devices.

Old enough to have their own stuff going on, not old enough to quite manage their own diaries. So a planner it is.

A planner will remind everyone of their stuff; will clear all those notes off my desk and also lets everyone else in on what everyone else is doing in the week. Without having to ask me. Bonus!!!

And of course with 4 kids and their various stuff (as well as mine), being able to personalize a planner is heaven sent; which in my eyes was the first plus for Personal Planners.

Personal Planners

Examples of the front and back covers from www.personalplanners.com.au

Their planners provide you with endless design possibilities. You can change colour, text and design on front/back cover as well as inlay. There are also clever boxes for to-do list, gym session, preschool, idea of the week and weather. Friend’s and family member’s birthdays can also be added to the inlay directly from Facebook. They print and deliver the finished product directly to our your doorstep.  Here are a few things that I like about these planners:

  • Design the front/back cover
  • Tons of ways to design the inside to suit your style & needs
  •  Add friends & family members birthdays to the inlay
  • Choose between 4 different sizes
  • You pick the month you want the diary to start; great for those of you who like to use Financial year diaries.

 

Personal Planners

Examples of the inside inlay from www.personalplanners.com.au

I chose to have

  • To Do List
  • List of the Week
  • Idea of the Week
  • Notes section
  • Training

This works really well for us because I’m the sort of person who likes visual reminders. I find things are more likely to get done if it’s written down somewhere where I am continuously reminded of it. Like a nagging mother ;-)

I write down everything; the kids chores for the week/day. Idea of the Week gives us a chance to write down what fun stuff we want to do as a family. Training is supposed to inspire me to….ahem train. Working progress.

I received my planner a few weeks ago and started using straight after the conference closed; when I could no longer ignore the pile of notes.  It was so good to clear my desk and have everything sorted. Funnily enough, it helped clear my mind and my memory started working again. Oh the irony.

Now my good people, you can win a planner of your own. Personal Planners are giving away one of their planners.  All you have to do is tell me below why you need a planner and has there ever been a time when you’ve completely forgotten about an important date or appointment.

The winner will receive a gift card that you can redeem on the website and all it takes is about 10 minutes to go through the step by step guide and select what features you want in your planner. So easy.

For a sticky beak about these planners go to the website Personal Planner

And like the Personal Planner Facebook Page

Prize cannot be exchanged for cash and judges decision is final. Entries close Monday 15 April 2013 at 5pm (EST). I’ll announce the winner here in the comments section and I’ll email you personally.

Good luck.

I was not paid for this post but I was gifted a planner for review.

2 Comments