Do you ever wonder if 20 year old you would approve of how 30, 35, 40 or even 45 year old you is carrying on?
I mean, we all change, that’s a given, but have you done a complete backflip on some of your youthful ideologies?
My mother always said to me that I shouldn’t get married before I was 25 because 18 year old me was going to want different things to 21 year old me who again would want different things to 25 year old me. My mother obviously knew me well and it was some of the best advice she has given me.
The other was never trust anyone that says ‘trust me’.
So I was thinking, what mantras did I have when I was 20? A big one was my career. I was not going to just have a job; I was going to have a career. I was going to travel the world and be a rock journalist interviewing my favourite bands.
I was going to have no regrets and not be scared to take chances. I wasn’t going to marry someone because I felt like I ‘needed’ to and I certainly wasn’t going to marry anyone who ‘expected’ that I be the primary care giver if I ever had kids.
So how did I do?
Well I didn’t travel the world to the extent I thought I would because I fell in love a whole lot earlier than expected.
Just as I was getting ready to follow my friends to the other side of the world Mr M whispered, “stay” and so I did.
I honestly didn’t think I would be married before 30; but at 25 I was walking down the aisle.
At 27 I was a mum, unexpectedly. But when things fall into place, they just simply fall into place. Let’s call it fate.
I gave up my corporate career because holding my newborn daughter in my arms I realised there was nowhere else I wanted to be.
I am my children’s primary caregiver and that was my choice. I have sacrificed my career to be a work-at-home mum but I have no regrets.
Apart from the travel and career I think 20 year old me would be happy with how this life of ours has progressed.
However I have a friend of mine who is not so satisfied with her lot in life. There are little things jar with her 20 year old self. For example, her husband doesn’t like her being out too late and she acquiesces because for her this is a fight just not worth having. “There are other more important things to fight for”, she reasons.
We all rationalise events and moosh them into a way to fit our lives because that’s how we stay sane when things don’t quite work out the way we planned.
But as Mr M just pointed out to me, “life ain’t over yet baby”.
Hear that Bon Jovi? I’m still gunning for that interview.
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