If I look at our family’s weekly timetable I could easily get depressed. You know what I mean; training, dance lessons, music lessons, school run, homework etc etc bladdidy blah blah.
Whose timetable am I running on? Certainly not mine. I know, I know, this is what happens when you have children.
But I’m finding more and more that my children’s activities are kind of inflexible. I must fit around their timetable. What’s that? You used to go to Fat Burning aerobics class on a Wednesday? Not anymore, soccer training is on. Maybe you can go to the Gentle Exercise class on Monday morning. But Gentle Exercise doesn’t burn fat!!
Okay, rewind. How did we get here? Well when a mummy and daddy love each other very much…. Too far? Okay.
It’s a rhetorical question. I know how we got here and I understand that I have the power to change it. Even though right now I feel like I’m a slave to it.
I do get satisfaction that my children are happy with their activities. I know I’m carrying resentment from the fact that my parents rarely let me do activities out of school; and my children weren’t going to be subjected to that kind of crap. It’s soul crushing, it really is.
I know that this is for a finite time; one day soon….ish….kind of…maybe not that soon…. I will have more free time than I know what to do with.
I understand all that but I was recently invited out to dinner with some friends and the first thing I did was check the calendar to make sure that a) Mr M hadn’t emailed me with something and b) the kids didn’t have some sort of party going on.
There could have been a c) do I have anything on, but who the hell we are kidding? Okay, a bit dramatic, I do have some sort of social life….is….kind of….maybe….
And the irony of all this is the kids think they are running to my timetable. Grocery shopping, homework, dinner, school, bedtime.
So no-one in this house thinks they are running to their own timetable. We think we are dictated to by someone else. What is that all about? Is that just perception? Or have we royally screwed this up?
I guess you need to ask yourself how much of a problem it really is for you. Is it just a niggling frustration or is it something that causes resentment. I think, and this is just my opinion, that when the wants of children outweigh the needs of others then there has to be a review of how things work. After school activities are good and well but perhaps it wouldn’t kill the family to say ‘nothing is to be booked on Thursday’and have that be your day, you can then have a day each week that you can do what you like. Family is about give and take and being all give or all take is not good for anyone.
Hi Cate,
It’s more a niggling frustration. And maybe the monotony of it all, now that I think about it.
Thanks for your comment. I really appreciate it.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
And the thing is, to have your children to do all these activities starts so early. I remember when the boys were around 1 we started panicking thinking we weren’t doing enough.
Now we have a chock a block weekly schedule with playgroups and “school readiness programs” with only Thursday as our “free day”.
It gets to a point where I have to consciously say, “Okay, today I’m actually exhausted. It’s a stay at home day…” Even then, those days are rare and I have to be at the brink of insanity.
The irony ? The boys – at 17 months – don’t know any different…
And those days you have off you walk around in a comatose state and if you’re anything like me you think ‘well that was a wasted day’.
Thanks for the visit Grace.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
I reckon your timetable feels so full because there’s 3(?) children now doing activities, so even if they only do one each, one separate day of the week… that’s 3 days that you, the parents, have to organise around… And I know soccer, at least, is two days a week…
They won’t appreciate how you’re working around them until they’re a Bit older, I think, but what can you do? Do they have friends they can go with? I reckon Cate’s right, though, having one day that is always free (or free to be filled with parent social life :p) is a good idea. And hey, some friends can work to Your timetable too (just tell us when you’re free! Short notice is fine 😛 )
Unfortunately, children do crimp your social life a bit (just as you’ll probably crimp theirs, in their opinion 🙂 ) so I don’t think you’ve screwed it up at all
Cheers
Warren
Only 2 do activities at the moment. I resisted starting C in soccer this year because I’m not ready for it.
I’m a slow burn kind of person. I could easily spend hours listening to my ipod and letting my thoughts wash over me. Kids activities kind of kill that flow of thought.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
I hope to have kids, and in the not too distant future, but I read posts like this and think noooooooooo. I love my life. I love that I can make it to yoga 5 days a week, cook whatever I like for dinner (or just get takeaway) and sleep in on weekends. To all the Mum’s out there, I salute you. You are selfless superstars. But please find time for yourselves, so you can pave the way for the future Mums and show us how to do it!
Ah Miss J,
When I had just 2 kids this was my day.
Wake up and get breakfast.
Go to gym at 10am.
Home by 12pm.
Lunch.
J would rest on the couch with a DVD and A would have a sleep.
So my day didn’t really start until about 3pm.
I was cruising so I thought a 3rd child would be good. Then I knew I was alive 😉
Love & stuff
Mrs M